Happy New Year

A very happy New Year to all our readers from Constable Crab,
Tanya, Tomasito and Maggie the Part-time Cat.

...

Farewell Rock Crabs

"It is still early in the day!" I said, "So lets get going NOW! Which way is the Slippery Slope?"

"Well, the Slippery Slope is near at hand--in fac' it starts to get slipperty just as soon as ya leave this nice pile o' stones where Auntie Agatha makes her home, but..."

"And a mighty fine home it is!" I agreed.

"But," continued Rocky, "but, M'Lord, I's sorry, but I can't go wit'cha."

"You mean--you mean-- I have to go on alone?" I asked, a little surprised--since the good rock crabs had been so generous and helpful to me in my quest so far.

"Ya'see Your Worship--I's Kinda..."

"My Nephoo Hemi Grapsus, Sir Knight, is King o' this Rockcrabby Land. An' as such, MUST sorrowfully stay wit' an' pertect his rock crabby folk and not go on quests--even those as serioous and important as yers doubtless is!"

"Say no more, my Dear Friends!" I said. "To each his duty! Just point me to the Slippery Slope and I will carry on!"

"Stout Heart, Yer Grace!" Rocky quietly whispered, as my two new--very helpful--rock crab friends led me to the edge of their stone pile home and the base of The Slippery Slope.

...

Directions

"This Ring-Bo-Ree is excellent!" I said. "It makes me feel energized, alert, ready and strong!"

" 'At's it exactly yer Grace!" Rocky replied--"Very tasty stuff it is! --an' now, Auntie, Wot about th' aforesaid BOX?"

"The Jumblies carried that 'ere Box o' Destiny with 'em t' the East." Auntie Agatha said, "--over th' Slippery Slope and through th' Dell o' Gloom-- an' 'tis not exackly sartain, but 'tis highly possable they stashed it finely under a tor in the middle of the Perplex Plain!"

" 'Under th' Tor in the Perplex Plain
An' 'there it ever shall remain
'Til the knightly Crab brings it home again!'

...as the old sayin' goes!" Rocky recited.

...

Ring-Bo-Ree

"I am surprised--and astonished!" I said to Rocky.

"I thought yer Honor would be!" Rocky said. "And now Le's git on with the business at han'--yer Lordship's QUEST fer that Box o' Destiny!"

"Auntie Agatha used t' tell me about 'at selfsame box when she told about that there Journey of the Jumblies--on account o' because THEY brought that BOX back HERE! Din't they Auntie?"

"THEY DEEDY DID! Yass they did!" Aunt Agatha interjected. "Less all si' down 'ere---share a drop o' that same tasty Ring-Bo-Ree as they brought back--- An' I'll tell you ALL about it!"

...

Merry Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS
from

Constable Crab

!!!!!!!!!

The Sieve

Hoooo!

There it was--something I had not believed I would ever see in this life: the Jumbalies' sea-going sieve--with the old tobacco-pipe mast and the pea-green ribbon sail--and even the crockery jar!

Like a fool I thought it was all just a nursery rhyme! But here it was!!

"A penny for yer Lordship's thoughts." Hemi or Rocky quietly said.

...

Hemi Grapsus III

As we followed the big lady rock crab through the crack, I whispered to my new friend: "Didn't you say your name was 'Rocky'?"

"Well, yes, yer Highness." He whispered back.

"But 'ats only what me friends calls me! My REAL name is Hemi Grapsus the Third. And I's a leftover from the old Sexdentatus fambly. Auntie Agatha calls me 'Hemi' fer short--but NOT fer long! Arr, harr!"

And we entered into a marvelous, great chamber!

...

Aunt Agatha

We quickly approached a jumble of huge stones--evidently Aunt Agatha's dwelling place--and we very soon came face to face with Rocky's large Aunt Agatha.

"Hoo! Auntie Agatha, dear!"

"Goodness me!" Exclaimed the big rock crab--"Can it be
my dear Nephoo, Hemi?!"

"The same, Auntie dear! An' I brought a new pal, ya might say--Sir Crabaine Hisself!"

I made a small bow to the huge rock crab.

"Any friend o' my dear Nephoo Hemi is a friend o' mine--as they say!"

"This 'ere crab is a knight what is on a quest, Auntie--an' I thinks you have some information what will help 'im."

"Always happy to help a knight in 'is questin'! --Come in, come in, my dears!"

And the big rock crab turned and went through a crack between the boulders.

...

Off to Meet Aunt Agatha

"Yes--it seems VERY serious." I admitted.

"And wot d'yer think to go lookin' fer, yer Lordship, if I may be so bold wit' a new acquaintance?"

"It seems to be no secret. I am seeking the Box of Destiny!"

"Arr! The Box of Destiny, issit? And WHERE is this aforesaid BOX?"

"That's just it! No one knows--least of all ME!"

"Arr!"

The Rock crab pondered a moment and then unexpectedly offered:

"I HAVE heard o' that BOX--'t was with the peculiar stuff the old Jumblies brought back from beyond the Torrible Zone as I remember it. And I knows whom can give yer more information on the subject, yer Grace!"

The rock crab grabbed my claw and hurried me down the beach.

"Yer gotta meet my dear old Auntie Agatha! Old Auntie Agatha was mighty tight wit' those Jumblies in the old days, yer Excellency!"

...

Rock Crab

"Oh, I'm sorry--uh--sir. I thought you were a rock."

"'At's all right, mate! Lottsa' people thinks 'at way, but achually, I's a Rock Crab---ya can call me Rocky."

"Ahhh. I've heard of folks like you--but you're the first Rock Crab I've ever met."

"But not the LAST, I dare say, Mate! And who might I have the pleasure of addressin'?"

"I'm Con--uh--Sir Crabaine!"

"Ah, yes--yer Highness! Arr. And what might ya' be doin' down here by the seashore, Yer Worship?"

"I am on a quest!"

"Arr! A Quest, issit? That be SERIOUS, Mate!"

...

Talking Rock?

I wandered back down to the beach.

Sir Crabaine!

Quest for the Box of Destiny?!

It was all very unexpected.

I had always thought of myself as a simple crab--just plain Constable Crab.

The thought of ME going on a knight's quest for King Arthur had NEVER, EVER crossed my mind--yet here I was--apparently--a knight errant on a mysterious quest!

I went down to the beach and flopped against a big rock near the water.

"Ouch!" said the rock, "Would you mind leaning a little more softly, please?"

...

Quest accepted

"I never expected to be chosen for anything so grand--of course I accept the quest." I said.

"Good!" Said Arthur and Merlin together. "You can start at once!"

"Which way do I go?" I asked.

"No one knows THAT either." Merlin sighed.

"You are absolutely on your own in this quest."

And--as I turned away and started for the door, I heard softly from the shadows behind me--"Fare well and good speed, Sir Crabaine."

...

Sir Crabaine's Quest

"The BOX of DESTINY?" I queried Merlin, "What--exactly--is THAT?"

"That is part of the problem." Merlin answered, "No one knows exactly WHAT it IS!"

"It seems to have disappeared entirely from the Jumblies' possessions and records. But The Box of Destiny is reputed not only to exist but to contain many secrets!"

"I myself have never seen it--but I KNOW it exists!"

"Well and good!" I answered--but WHY did you call ME to find this BOX? If that is indeed my quest."

"To FIND the Box of Destiny--open it--and deliver it's contents or message to King Arthur-- that IS your quest!

We called you because of an almost forgotten ancient prophecy which I heard in my youth--" said Merlin.

"A prophecy which said that 'only a crab of honor and duty can and will find and deliver the message from the Box of Destiny'."

"And YOU, Sir Crabaine, are hopefully that crab!"

...

The Box of Destiny

"Your quest." began Merlin quietly, "Your quest is one that probably only You can accomplish. This is why you were called to Camelot in the first place."

"Camelot!" I gasped.

"Of course, Camelot..." continued Merlin. "And you have, no doubt, heard of the famous voyage of discovery by The Jumblies"

"I remember something about them in a nursery rhyme, Sir--something about 'going to sea in a sieve', I believe?"

"Exactly!" said Merlin.

"What you do NOT know is that they brought something back from their voyage BESIDE the reported Stilton cheeses and the lovely monkey with lollipop paws---

---They brought back The Box of Destiny!"

...

visor view

"Ahem! Now about your QUEST..." Merlin began.

"Wait a minute, Sir!

I am sorry but I just cannot get used to this armor--and I can hardly SEE out of this helmet--don't you think I could get along just as well, or maybe even BETTER with my own armor?

I am so accustomed to it..."

"All right!" said Merlin, "I thought it might be fun to see a crab in armor--but, of course, the QUEST is the thing after all, isn't it?"

I quickly wriggled out of the clumsy armor!

...

Crab in Armor

"And NOW, Sir Crabaine--your QUEST!"

I looked through the narrow slit provided for my eyes and tried to get used to the extra weight and awkward hinges of my Knightly Armor.

I certainly was VERY interested in knowing what my QUEST was going to be--but the armor made it VERY difficult to concentrate.

The view through the slit in the visor was limited to say the least!

...

Crab in Armor

"And now, Sir Crabaine", Merlin spoke from the shadows--"I'll help you don your new KNIGHTLY ARMOR--and then we'll tell you what your QUEST will be!"

"But I already HAVE armor." I hurriedly replied. "In fact I LIVE in armor--and always have!"

"Well, yes, that is true!" said Merlin, "But we thought it would be FUN for you to try on something ELSE for a little change? Let me help you put it on--I had it made especially for YOU, you know!"

And before I knew it--I was completely suited in "Knightly Armor", as he called it.

...

Crab Dubbed Kinght

I felt three gentle taps of the great sword on my shell and the king said, "Rise, Sir Crabaine!"

That was all there was to it--but I felt a LOT bigger, stronger and better than I had ever felt before!

I felt ready for My Quest!!!

(Reminder: Tomasito's days off are Sunday and Monday every week.)

...

Arthur the King

Striding toward me was a handsome, confident, king-sized man with a dangerous-looking sword held carelessly in his right hand.

Could it really be King Arthur?

I knew he was supposed to return whenever his people really needed him--but here? Now? ME?

"Your honor," I said, "My name is Constable Crab, and..."

"We have need of you." Arthur politely but firmly interrupted. "We intend to knight you and send you on a difficult but very necessary mission--a quest-- if you will accept it."

I liked this man!

"Of course, Sire!" I said, to get immediately into the spirit of the thing. "Gladly will I help you!"

"Will you promise to serve and protect all creatures?" he asked.

"Absolutely! In fact, that's what I always do!" I replied.

"Then kneel please ." he said.

"O.K." I said, and did.

...

Sir Crabaine

Suddenly I was picked up and held--fairly gently--by a strong human hand!

"Ahhh--Here you are, Sir Crabaine--and right on time too!" spoke a surprisingly quiet but powerful voice.

"There must be some mistake, sir!" I hurriedly said, "My name is Constable Crab!"

"Oh? --So That is what YOU think! Ah, ha, ha! What strange ideas creatures have! Well, MY name is Merlin, and as you will soon find out--I am seldom wrong!"

"I really am--just Constable Crab! I have ALWAYS been Constable Crab!"

"Tut, tut!" Merlin scoffed, "Perhaps you HAVE been Constable Crab in the past--but here comes my friend and liege, Arthur Rex who is quite determined to knight you--if I understand the purpose of the great sword he is carrying. And THEN you will BE what you ARE--Sir Crabaine indeed!"

...

The Great Hall

I scuttled into the castle--and right into the Great Hall!

In the middle of the hall there was a big round table surrounded by large chairs.

This was obviously a meeting place for humans--BIG humans!

I had never been anywhere like it in my life--and I never suspected that it existed so close to my own home beach!

...

The Castle on the Cliff

There was a castle on the cliffs above the beach!

I had lived here all my life and somehow had not noticed that there was a castle and that there were cliffs overlooking the beach?!

Something funny was going on for sure--and I was going to find out WHAT right now!

I scuttled across the beach, up the cliff and into the castle---

WOW!!